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Post by whiteshadow on Nov 30, 2008 18:30:06 GMT
'You get what you deserve'
This has become a topic I think about a lot. and I'm fed up how I keep upsetting the people close to me by how much i'm affected by my own thoughts or how paranoid I can be. My unacknowledgement of those things said by others can lead to terrible events because I wasn't aware of what had happened before I made a joke =/
This phrase gets to me because in life, I've had a girlfriend commit suicide. I have had mates that got drunk and then died. I have met people that are severely mistreated by there parents, being locked in there room with nothing but a blanket. Most things I have been unfortunate to experience, like being cheated on etc etc
It just bothers me, that throughout all of this What the FUCK did I do that made me deserve all of this shit? It's bullshit =/ I don't want to upset those close to me anymore, it hurts. I try to live off the happiness of the people I can make happy, but when I fail this... It's heartbreaking tbh.
I just don't know. Maybe I just needed to get this out before I burst into tears over something trivial and something stupid.
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Post by Root Admin on Nov 30, 2008 18:48:29 GMT
As I have said in the past Tom, you are a totally admirable person. You have had to contend with more crap already than most people have to put up with in their entire life, but still you stay strong. Of everyone at school, I am one of the very few (if there are any others), who have even the slightest inkling of what goes on inside your head and how much torment you have had to live through.
In answer to the question of what you've done to deserve it all, you have done nothing to deserve this. As hard as it is to deal with, life throws a lot of shit at you and there is nothing you can do except deal with it and make the best of life.
You are an amazing person. Just stay strong.
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Post by whiteshadow on Dec 1, 2008 19:37:00 GMT
Guess your right =)
Just needed to vent it out I guess =]
Thanks Tom =D Oh, and your the only one in school that knows =] I tell Pudge this n that, but don't think he understands the full story =P
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Post by Don't Bother on Dec 4, 2008 12:28:08 GMT
I also have a partial membership to the 'I know what Tom's head is like inside' club, as I have experienced pretty much everything you have, but in a more toned down way, of course. When I lived in Ireland, I had a friend called Amelia who died in a hit and run. I have had two friends killed by abuse from their parents and mistreated. Unlike Beasley, I've HAD a girlfriend (hehe) but like Mr Hemmings here she commited suicide too after her parents, brother and grandparents died in 9/11.
Yeah. I know how you feel mate. :l
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Post by crazer123 on Dec 4, 2008 16:51:25 GMT
my uncle has died, he was the one in the papers ages ago that collapsed in the park and then some t*ats mugged him while he was dead...
but i have to admit, i didnt even shed a tear and i dont know why... does it make me bad?
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Eilidh
Best Friend
member is defying gravity
Posts: 150
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Post by Eilidh on Dec 4, 2008 21:06:31 GMT
Not everyone expresses their feelings through crying craze-kid123. I smiled once after Michelle died and I thought that made me a bad person, that I was forgetting her, that I couldn't be happy without her. But I realised she wouldn't want me to not live my life, she'd be saying "Whit yah crying for yah eejit? Get oot there and show the worl' that you are the freak shiz!", and while your uncle may not put it in quite those words, he wouldn't want you to fret over him, he'd probably want you to remember him well, but without you getting upset.
As for Tom, I sort of know how you feel, but maybe not as bad as you feel. I've lost friends, family and unknown faces to suicide, mistreatment, drugs and a ton of other shit that shouldn't happen. And I do not know you well, but I am guessing that no one deserves all that.
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Post by Root Admin on Dec 4, 2008 21:10:11 GMT
Exactly what Eilidh said. A lot of people express grief through crying, whereas others choose to get their stress out in different ways.
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Post by zichoma on Feb 21, 2014 5:53:43 GMT
We should take all these questions as life experiences. Being happy is not the life end. We should face them well and look for a good future. In everybody’s life there are up and down. But only you can make all the downs to a positive way by achieving your goals.
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