Lies

[whiteshadow]

I just don't understand it anymore =/

I mean she tells me she trusts me with her life, and I belief her, I trust her. She hid some stuff I hid some stuff and then we became comfortable with each other, or so I thought. She asked me to promise her no more hiding stuff and we'll go through things together, so I promised and so did she.

I thought this was an extremely great thing to do, good layer of trust in the relationship, or so I thought. I don't understand why but she's always lieing ='( when I ask if she's ok, yeah she's fine, and then she tells me later when I'm not with her or anything that no she isn't ok, and now she decides to tell me. If she does something I've made her promise not to she doesn't tell me I figure it out and it just really hurts. I love her, and I love her a lot. I just want an end to all these lies ='( I've begged her not to lie, she knows how much I care, I just can't take how she lies about things anymore. It's like she's blocking me out from her life, and if she doesn't want me involved in her life why won't she just dump me? I really don't understand anymore and it just hurts =(

[Root Admin]

I don't know enough about you two to form a huge response, but it seems to me like some of the things she doesn't tell you about are only kept secret because she loves you so much that she doesn't want to hurt you by making you worry about her.

[whiteshadow]

She's said that before, but she promised...

[crazer123]

can i just ask.. when she tells you later is it in person or not?

[whiteshadow]

not

[crazer123]

that may be because whatever her problem is she finds it easier to express herself not in person as i prefer to tell people things like this or argue with them over internet / phone as then well.... im not sure but i find it easier to argue or get upset like this as you can just stop at anytime and then you dont make the other person feel uncomfortable or upset

may not be the same for kelly, but thats just the way i am =/

[whiteshadow]

what a better name for this thread should have been was "Trust"
I find that sometimes I'm trusted and I let them down or don't get it right all the time.
It really fills me with guilt when I do someone wrong when they've trusted me =/

[nathan]

well my girlfriend dumped me then said that she loves someone else when she told me that she could never be in love but the thing is she loves my best friend what should i do???

[Root Admin]

Mar 20, 2009 19:30:39 GMT nathan said:

well my girlfriend dumped me then said that she loves someone else when she told me that she could never be in love but the thing is she loves my best friend what should i do???

If she does love your friend, then there is nothing you can do about it. I presume that you want them both to be happy, so you're best to just let it go.

[damselindistress]

whiteshadow: Girls are different from guys. You have to understand that. We are raised differently than men are. All girls are like your girlfriend to a certain degree. I'm that way with my fiance and so are all my friends with their boyfriends.

It is not a trust issue. If she didn't trust you at all, then she'd never tell you anything. Girls are raised to "lie" if you will. We are taught that it's good manners not to burden others with all our problems. We're trying to be loving and caring when we do it.

If you want her to talk to you about her problems more, then do not accuse her of lying every time she tells you something later. That will just lead to her never telling you anything again maybe.

Instead, get her out of her shell by rewarding her and complimenting her every time she tells you about her feelings. Say things like,"Wow, I'm so happy you told that to me. It really means a lot to me when you trust me with your feelings. I care so much about your thoughts and emotions and I love to hear about them." Don't say anything negative. That's what my fiance does with me and I find myself blurting out more and more my feelings to him since he's so receptive of them.

nathan: Move on and find someone who will treat you well and not use you. You're better off without her, since she didn't know how to treat you right.