Post by Anonymous on Apr 8, 2009 10:01:26 GMT
So many things are wrong with my life right now but the biggest problem I have is my Dad.
My Dad's an alcoholic.
I don't know if you know how confusing it is to have an alcoholic parent but it is very. Mood swings is a big thing; one moment my Dad's all nice and friendly, the next he's shouting for no apparent reason.
He knocks himself out on the floor most nights, leaves the TV or music on and the light. A lot of the time I have to go into the living room at night and turn off the TV and light, climbing over my Dad because I can't get to sleep with the noise of it all. I don't like dinner time because my Dad's there, with his beer, either holding forth about something or other and being Mr Nice Guy telling his children about music or films or history or he's grumpy, shouting at my brother because he pronounces school like 'skul' or at us for some other trivial reason.
My younger brother doesn't really realize and my Dad's his whole world and he's constantly watching it fall apart. Sometimes my Dad's in a good mood, watching Lord of the rings with my brother in the evenings on their own, promising trips to museums, saying he'll teach him guitar etc. and other times he's not 'NO I WONT TAKE YOU TO A MUSEUM!, 'GO TO BED, YOU CAN'T STAY UP AND WATCH LORD OF THE RINGS!'. How damaging must this be for my brother?
In a sense it's easier for me, I'm close to my mum. We watch TV in the evenings and talk and stuff and I avoid spending much time with my Dad.
But the thing is, it's got to a point. My Mum talks about how they came to where we live now, my dad getting into a teaching course, moving from the underground etc. and I can't bear to listen. I don't want to hear about my Dad when he was younger. i sit there, gritting my teeth, trying not to listen, not knowing how to say I don't want to hear. Then I just burst into tears, I can't take this. I break down and cry a lot, I find myself getting upset about stupid things.
I phoned the NACOA and they were almost no help. They told me things that I had read already. They said there was nothing I could do, it was beyond my control. That's not what I want to hear. I want to hear that I can do something and magically make everything better. But I can't.
My Dad's an alcoholic.
I don't know if you know how confusing it is to have an alcoholic parent but it is very. Mood swings is a big thing; one moment my Dad's all nice and friendly, the next he's shouting for no apparent reason.
He knocks himself out on the floor most nights, leaves the TV or music on and the light. A lot of the time I have to go into the living room at night and turn off the TV and light, climbing over my Dad because I can't get to sleep with the noise of it all. I don't like dinner time because my Dad's there, with his beer, either holding forth about something or other and being Mr Nice Guy telling his children about music or films or history or he's grumpy, shouting at my brother because he pronounces school like 'skul' or at us for some other trivial reason.
My younger brother doesn't really realize and my Dad's his whole world and he's constantly watching it fall apart. Sometimes my Dad's in a good mood, watching Lord of the rings with my brother in the evenings on their own, promising trips to museums, saying he'll teach him guitar etc. and other times he's not 'NO I WONT TAKE YOU TO A MUSEUM!, 'GO TO BED, YOU CAN'T STAY UP AND WATCH LORD OF THE RINGS!'. How damaging must this be for my brother?
In a sense it's easier for me, I'm close to my mum. We watch TV in the evenings and talk and stuff and I avoid spending much time with my Dad.
But the thing is, it's got to a point. My Mum talks about how they came to where we live now, my dad getting into a teaching course, moving from the underground etc. and I can't bear to listen. I don't want to hear about my Dad when he was younger. i sit there, gritting my teeth, trying not to listen, not knowing how to say I don't want to hear. Then I just burst into tears, I can't take this. I break down and cry a lot, I find myself getting upset about stupid things.
I phoned the NACOA and they were almost no help. They told me things that I had read already. They said there was nothing I could do, it was beyond my control. That's not what I want to hear. I want to hear that I can do something and magically make everything better. But I can't.
