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Post by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2009 7:45:21 GMT
pr0n sites?!
i was in his room, and he was just surfing the net, and then this pop-up coems up, but he clicks off before i can see it, and then he goes downstairs, and i check his internet history, and theres like, loads of dodgy sites, and the internets gone REAL slow.. but then again its always been a bit slow.
and now i've gone like, really hard to sleep, and im a ickle bit scared, which is odd, cos im like, 15, and my bros only 13, and im worried about him?
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sobiteme
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Post by sobiteme on Apr 26, 2009 8:27:30 GMT
Umm well he's a 13 year old boy, most of them read porn  |
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Post by Don't Bother on Apr 26, 2009 9:22:13 GMT
Thats not very helpful to him is it?
He's obviously pretty worried for his brother, but seeing as I haven't got any "experience" in this area, I'm calling on WhiteShadow, our very own over ejaculator to help us with this problem!
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Post by Shakti on Apr 26, 2009 11:47:23 GMT
Umm well he's a 13 year old boy, most of them read porn Read? |
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Eilidh
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Post by Eilidh on Apr 26, 2009 13:49:25 GMT
Well... I've got an older brother who I know used to watch porno quite regularly. When he was about 13/14... I must've been eleven or twelve when I caught him for the first time. Obviously I was pretty shocked. Then another time I was trying to listen to my music on WMM player and a porn video appeared. I think the best thing to do is talk to him about it, and if he doesn't listen, tell your parents. My Dad eventually found it and he was banned from the computer for about six months, he stayed away after that.  |
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sobiteme
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Judge me all you like but keep the verdict to yourselves.
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Post by sobiteme on Apr 26, 2009 18:24:59 GMT
Umm well he's a 13 year old boy, most of them read porn Read? Look at, same difference And sorry if it wasn't very helpfull. I'm just saying it's not too big a deal |
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Post by TomBeasley on Apr 26, 2009 20:01:22 GMT
As sobiteme says, it isn't /that/ big a problem. I go to an all-boys school and a massive proportion of the students watch porn regularly.
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Post by damselindistress on Apr 26, 2009 21:23:58 GMT
Whether or not a lot of people do something, has nothing to do with whether or not it is a good thing to do, but yea, I wouldn't be surprised if he was looking at porn. A lot of guys do at his age.
And I thought Eilidh's advice was really good. You can't do anything about him looking at porn by yourself, but your parents can do something.
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Post by TomBeasley on Apr 28, 2009 16:03:48 GMT
Well I know it isn't a good thing. I was just saying that it isn't really anything to worry about. And yeah, if you are worried about him, then get your parents to do something about it. |
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Post by iDesign on Apr 29, 2009 14:59:09 GMT
I disagree with anybody that thinks you should get parents involved when it comes to porn / growing up etc. It's his life, leave it alone.
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Post by damselindistress on Apr 29, 2009 19:23:38 GMT
I disagree with anybody that thinks you should get parents involved when it comes to porn / growing up etc. It's his life, leave it alone. That's not how it works when you are a minor, which he is. He's 13. His parents are paying for him to be alive and taken care of. They are responsible for him. When he do bad things, they often have to take up the responsibility for it. Like, if he breaks a neighbor's window, they have to pay for it, not him. He may get grounded, but he wouldn't have the job to actually pay for it. If he got a girl pregnant outside of marriage, they often have to pay the medical bills and help take care of the baby some. I've read articles about parents who had to go to jail for awhile because their kids didn't go to school like they were supposed to. They suffer the consequences for their children's actions because it's their job to make the decisions for the child. Until he is a legal adult who is taking care of himself, then his parents are going to be involved in his business and helping him make the right decisions. That's the POINT of parenthood. To train a child to have all the skills he needs to to survive in the world and make wise choices. Without the need for that, then we might as well throw people on the streets to take care of themselves from the moment they are born. They would know everything they needed to to take care of themselves and their would be no need for parents to provide for them. |
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sobiteme
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Judge me all you like but keep the verdict to yourselves.
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Post by sobiteme on Apr 30, 2009 17:20:59 GMT
I disagree with anybody that thinks you should get parents involved when it comes to porn / growing up etc. It's his life, leave it alone. That's not how it works when you are a minor, which he is. He's 13. His parents are paying for him to be alive and taken care of. They are responsible for him. When he do bad things, they often have to take up the responsibility for it. Like, if he breaks a neighbor's window, they have to pay for it, not him. He may get grounded, but he wouldn't have the job to actually pay for it. If he got a girl pregnant outside of marriage, they often have to pay the medical bills and help take care of the baby some. I've read articles about parents who had to go to jail for awhile because their kids didn't go to school like they were supposed to. They suffer the consequences for their children's actions because it's their job to make the decisions for the child. Until he is a legal adult who is taking care of himself, then his parents are going to be involved in his business and helping him make the right decisions. That's the POINT of parenthood. To train a child to have all the skills he needs to to survive in the world and make wise choices. Without the need for that, then we might as well throw people on the streets to take care of themselves from the moment they are born. They would know everything they needed to to take care of themselves and their would be no need for parents to provide for them. Yes, however his parents are not going to have to pay in any way for him watching porn. It's causing no harm to anyone else and it's his choice to be honest. Your parents can't have you on a leash for the whole of your life and have controll over everything you do. I really don't think it will help to get parents involved. But meh |
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Post by iDesign on Apr 30, 2009 17:59:02 GMT
But seriously... Everyone does things behind their parents backs. I don't get girls pregnant, I don't drink, I don't smoke or take drugs, but I do some things that I don't tell my parents about. Porn is the same, if your brother feels he wants to look at it, it's his choice.
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MJ
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But who's watching.
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Post by MJ on Apr 30, 2009 18:55:24 GMT
Got to agree with idesign here.
Watching porn is normal for a boy of that age, and it isn't hurting anybody at all. Telling the parents wouldn't really stop him, if he were determined, and would make things pretty tense between the both of you. Since it's in his own room then it isn't even out in the open, so I wouldn't even recommend that /you/ talk to him - such as clearing the computer history because of other people.
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Post by damselindistress on May 1, 2009 20:16:32 GMT
That's not how it works when you are a minor, which he is. He's 13. His parents are paying for him to be alive and taken care of. They are responsible for him. When he do bad things, they often have to take up the responsibility for it. Like, if he breaks a neighbor's window, they have to pay for it, not him. He may get grounded, but he wouldn't have the job to actually pay for it. If he got a girl pregnant outside of marriage, they often have to pay the medical bills and help take care of the baby some. I've read articles about parents who had to go to jail for awhile because their kids didn't go to school like they were supposed to. They suffer the consequences for their children's actions because it's their job to make the decisions for the child. Until he is a legal adult who is taking care of himself, then his parents are going to be involved in his business and helping him make the right decisions. That's the POINT of parenthood. To train a child to have all the skills he needs to to survive in the world and make wise choices. Without the need for that, then we might as well throw people on the streets to take care of themselves from the moment they are born. They would know everything they needed to to take care of themselves and their would be no need for parents to provide for them. Yes, however his parents are not going to have to pay in any way for him watching porn. It's causing no harm to anyone else and it's his choice to be honest. Your parents can't have you on a leash for the whole of your life and have controll over everything you do. I really don't think it will help to get parents involved. But meh I'm not going to argue with you anymore, but I'd just like to clarify that I didn't say a child's whole life. I just said until they were 18 and then adults have no say in what their kids do and shouldn't have a say in it either. |
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sobiteme
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Post by sobiteme on May 2, 2009 9:39:06 GMT
But to be fair, the more parents restrict their children when they're younger the more they'll probably end up rebelling in later life and binging on things that they weren't allowed to ahve or do when they were younger e.g. watching porn constantly
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Post by damselindistress on May 2, 2009 13:13:52 GMT
That's why, when you are raising your children to make wise decisions, you also explain to them and show them by example how and why they should act that way. When a child sees that you are doing something for their benefit and that you really have their best interests at heart, then they find themselves imitating your behavior, even later in life. I know that's how my parents got me a lot of times.
My fiance's parents raised him not to look at porn and not to have sex before marriage. They were very strict about it. When he did look at porn once, they took away his computer and all entertainment for an entire summer because they found out about it. Now, he doesn't look at porn or other women (which I can't say for a lot of guys) and he's very monogamous. I can thank his parents for that and I do feel greatful about it.
People grow-up to have the same morals as their parents most of the time. There's exceptions, but as a general rule, you'll find people, even when they grow-up have the same religion and political party as their parents did because they come to have the same morals. There's exceptions of course, but that's the trend.
You guys do realize that none of you are legally old enough to look at porn and neither is this boy. If you're not legally old enough to be in a porno, then you're not legally old enough to watch it. It's a LAW, not just a parenting preference. You guys act like we are talking about EXTREME parenting, where the parent controls everything you do, when all we're talking about them restricting is something that this 13 year old boy isn't legally allowed to do anyway.
I believe drinking alcohol is okay, but when I have kids someday, if they try to drink underaged and I find out about it, they are going to get into trouble because it's not legal for them to do so at that age.
Seriously, you guys are so young, so you just view parenting as something that controls your life and restricts you, but that's a parent's job, to raise you to be able to handle the world and make wise decisions. Bad parents are the ones that don't try to punish you or restrict you at all. It's not fun to be in trouble, but it's necessary and we all went through it.
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sobiteme
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Post by sobiteme on May 3, 2009 8:34:29 GMT
It depends who you are; many children if restricted a lot by their parents will end up resenting it. I know if I had been in your fiance's position I would have probably ended up hating my parents and deliberatly going against what they told me to do.
Some children are more obidient and sensible than others. But the thing is, as children get to the stage of being teenagers, they're going to want to explore things. They'll be curious to try things, drinking, looking at porn, maybe even smoking or drugs.
To be honest if your parents are always telling you not to, say, look at porn you're going to become more and more curious as to what's so bad about it. Look at it this way, you have a peice of cake, it's the most delicious peice of cake you've ever had. It's so tasty and you want more, but your parents tell you you're not allowed it. As time goes on you're going to be craving for that cake more and more and in your head it will become more and more tasty. And when you eventually can have it you'll pig out in secret.
Surely it would better to have things in moderation and get them out of the way when you're young and foolish rather than waiting untill you can do things secretly.
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