Post by ThatPerson on Mar 29, 2009 18:24:14 GMT
A lot has gone on in the past few years. I admit there has been some good times, but so much bad stuff has happened and I starting to find it really hard to cope.
There is so much more on my mind but I'm too scared to speak about it.
- I feel bad about my friends. I feel like I'm lying to them because I'm not telling them the whole truth about me. I really want to tell them everything about me and then never see them again because I know how they'll react.
- I feel like the one left behind. All my friends are getting on with their life's without me. Friday showed me that I only have 3 friends I can count on.
- I'm starting to hate one of the people I should trust most. He's supposed to be my best friend, but I can't stand being around him.
- I'm barely eaten and have lost a lot of weight. My Mum keeps going on at me about being anorexic, but I just don't have an appetite.
- I hate school. Everything is going wrong. I have so much homework and I can't cope with it. I'm always the one with re-tests.
- My trust has gone. I cannot trust anyone anymore because of what happened last time I did. I want so much to be able to trust again, but I know it won't happen anytime soon.
- I'm different people because I don't know how people will react to the real me. I think people will hate it if I show who I truly am. I just smile and don't show what I'm feeling just what this other character is feeling. I hate it.
- I'm beginning to hate everyone and everything. I don't know what to do about it
- I feel sick all the time.
- I cry myself to sleep most nights.
- My family are driving me crazy. Why can't they leave me alone? They're always making fun of me one way or another, it's like they don't care about my feelings, if they don't, who does?
- I considered cutting. I hate myself for even thinking about it.
- I'm just so damn scared. Scared of everything.
- I want to leave and be on my own. Fend for myself, 'cause that way I don't owe my family anything.
- I break down a lot.
- Something happened a few years ago and every time I hear the persons name who did it to me. Another part of me dies.
- I keep worrying about my future, who will I be? Where will I be?
- I want to be in care, I think it'd be better for me.
- I'm really paranoid.
There is so much more on my mind but I'm too scared to speak about it.